Mental stressed for nothing?

I was feeling breathless & uneasiness of mind these few days... Not bcos of tiredness, but just feel that my heart was beating fast and my breathing was irregular that I had to take deep breath often to inhale...

Am I feeling stressed again or is it bcos I had been running errands to bring my grandma for pre-surgery and thus cause anxiety? Worried for my grandma's post-op and my father's recovery...

Speech therapy said that although my father showed some improvement in swallowing, but still not able to eat yet... The expenditure is high which worries me bcos I need to save $ but yet I am not able to... sighhhh... headache...

Dislike colleague Y for her actions

5 days ago, I already applied for today's leave bcos I wanted to accompany my grandma to SNEC for her cataract surgery... Yesterday I updated my manager on my portion of Admin meeting minute's so that she can update Prof and the rest during the meeting today...

Also, before I left home for yesterday's work, I sent an email to everybody (my 4 colleagues & manager) to let them know that I am on leave today and asked them to inform the doctors who called in to request for passwords today... I stated in my email to get the doctors to email me so that I can do the password reset at home after bringing my grandma home... The passwords are for the MCQs which will be closed tonight at 2359pm...

However, this colleague Y kept sm-ing me from early morning till evening... I was so frustrated & annoyed with her... Never see such an inconsiderated & impatient girl... Knowing that I was on leave and she still disturbed me with her annoying sms-es... Early morning at 9.30am, she sms-ed me to ask about the IVLE if she can create forums for her trainees... I ignored her sms until 11+ then I replied her...

Then at 4+ she sms-ed me again to ask if I am home already, of course I asked her why she asked... Then she said there's a doctor who requested for SFP password and wanted the password by 5.30pm... I was damn angry... Shit her... I was on leave for my grandma's surgery leh!!! I ignored her sms, but to cover myself, I sms-ed manager instead, to let her know that I will settle those passwords thingy by 6pm when I am home... Manager was quite ok & understanding bcos she knew my reason for taking leave and she is the kind who care alot of family...

However, as I didn't reply colleague Y's sms, she sms-ed me again sounded frustrated and commanded me to give her the admin password to the SFP portal so that she can do herself... I didn't want to give it to her bcos I want to have the full control, instead I replied her to give me the MCR & contact of the doctor... I called the doctors 1-by-1 to inform them that I will email them the reset password within 5min and all the emails that I sent out, I Bcc-ed manager to let her know that I did my work at home as promised...

Plus, the manager was last minute tasked by Dr LKH to do e-blasting emails to all members and asked if I can do it at home as well...With bosses who are understanding & talked nicely to me, of course I am most willing to do it for her at no cost... At least she was appreciative after she knew that I had done the job efficiently...

Just to emphasis that I am not bearing any grudge against colleague Y, but she is just the kind of person who cannot take pressure from doctors who keep calling her... Don't know how she handled all her trainees like that, also don't know how she worked here for 2yrs with this kind of bad attitude towards people... No wonder manager always says colleague Y is a chilli padi...

Also, colleague Y sounded unhappy when she know that Reona & I am getting married bcos she is still not attached yet and had been yearning for her 1st love... Sometimes even when we were all chatting about wedding topics during lunch with manager giving her advice to us from her experience, colleague Y will always give the sian look and keep quiet... Anyway I don't need to report to her for anything that I do for both personal life & work!

My grandma's cataract surgery

My grandma just had her cataract surgery this afternoon... We reached SNEC at 12.30pm as instructed and the surgery was fixed at 2pm, however we waited till 2.30pm then the nurse called for my grandma to go change... After my grandma went in to the operation theatre, then I went with my aunt to the Housemen's canteen to have our late lunch... While we were buying drinks at SGH Blk 5, the nurse called to say that my grandma's surgery was done & she was brought to the Recovery Suite to rest... My grandma was allowed to discharge at 4.30pm and we took a cab home by 5pm...

So heartpain to see my grandma going through all these at her old age :(

Yoga lesson 1

Went for my 1st yoga lesson with my mother at the CC next to our blk... It's a sponsored class with 8 lessons from my 2nd sis... Bcos we were late, so we couldn't follow quite closely what the trainer was teaching... During the lesson, I felt abit panting & breathless... Is it bcos I seldom exercise? I also feel my legs abit pain as if it's the implication from the fall where I hurted my waist...

Anyway after the lesson, I am still feeling breathless... Instead of feeling relax & peaceful, I feel stressed with my heart beating fast... Why huh? I abit worried leh...

Ok, going to my grandma house now to stay overnight there so that I can buy early breakfast for her tmr bcos she needs to fast for the cataract surgery after 8am... bye...

Secretariat lunch @ Singapore Flyer

Today, my colleagues & I had our monthly secretariat lunch at the Singapore Flyer... The restaurant that we went to was called Bistro something, can't rem the full name, I only know it's an Italian restaurant

The food was not very fantastic and the waiters' services were not good either... Reona even found a hair in her plate of cheese pasta, the waiter did not apologised and just took the plate away... After awhile then he brought out another freshly cooked cheese pasta to Reona and apologised very unwillingly...

Before we went, Reona still say the rating for this restaurant at hungrygowhere.com website was rated about 7.4... Sigh, over-rating...

Tailored-made of bridesmaid dress

Ying made appointment with the fashion designer at Chinatown Point to tailored-made the bridesmaid dresses for us... We arranged to meet at the shop at 6.30pm, however to save money taking bus/ Mrt, so I walked over from Outram Park to Chinatown Point and reached there at 6.45pm... Ling was there already when I reached, but Ying will be late bcos she got a last minute meeting...

Ling & I started choosing colours (different tones of champagne gold) and then let the fashion designer see our preferred designs from printouts... The designer quoted us $120 each for the dress including the cloth (is it called textile?), before discount was $180 each... I showed her my 3 designs, however she said the pink & the blue designs were too complex to make & will cost more... So I got no choice but to choose the black design with the flower replaced with normal strap for self-tying... Seemed simple hor but costed so much: $120! Then Ling wanted to add a layer of siffon to the dress to make it looks nicer, the designer recommended Ying & my bridesmaid dresses to add the layer of siffon too, so we agreed since she said will look nicer for our designs... That made the dress costed $140 each, no further discount given...

Heartpain but no choice... So this will be the dress that I will be wearing for all friends' or whoever's weddings that I will attend in future so that the dress will not be wasted...

Sourcing for bridesmaid dress

Went to source for a bridesmaid dress to wear for Xiaohui's wedding bcos she requested all her 8 bridesmaids to wear champagne gold on her big day on 20-09-2009... Ying & the rest had been hunting for that colour of dresses at various places but still cannot find... Finally we decided to tailored-made, but 1st we have to find a design that we want the lady to tailor...

I had been looking via the internet for some designs and managed to find a few which I quite like, but not sure if the lady is able to make the same design with the colour I want...

Imagine these 3 dresses in knee-length and in champagne gold colour... Which one is nicer?

Waffle Factory

Went with my mother to Singapore Post building @ Paya Lebar to source for a dress... We passed by this shop called Waffle Factory which sells waffle ice-creams, ice-creams, different flavours of waffles & other snacks... So we decided to rest for awhile to eat waffle ice-creams before we start the hunting of the dress...

The waffle ice-cream costs $5.50 for double scoops + a rounded waffle... Not very fantastic but still acceptable... yummy... Long time didn't eat ice-creams liao mah... I used to eat ice-creams whenever I feel happy... By eating ice-creams will make me feel happier... haha...

Viewed the 3rd flat: Blk 124 #07

After viewing the 2nd unit, Jeff brought us to view another unit which was few blks away... However, my 1st impression of this unit was, the owner was a Malay family so I am not quite keen liao... After seeing the whole flat's condition, there were some renovations needed to be done: 2 toilets, repaint of walls and the wirings... This unit was 83sqm and was just directly the 1st unit from the newly upgraded lift...

The owner has not gotten the valuation report from HDB yet, but the COV they were asking was $35k! Also very high lah... But for this unit, I am not that keen afterall...

Still looking out for more options...

Viewed the 2nd flat: Blk 146 #05

Viewed the 2nd flat unit today... Before we went in to the unit, I was quite impressed & happy with the design & conditions of the flat's interior... It was very new & nicely done with almost no renovation needed... Floorings, 2 toilets and walls also don't need to renovate... Bocs it's a 4A model (102sqm), so there was a store big room and the kitchen was quite big... There was a newly upgraded lift built to cater for every floor and it was just 1 unit away from this flat, very convenient...

The valuation of the flat was quite acceptable, except for the COV was very high! The owners asked for $38k of COV!!! Too expensive liao lah... So we decided to give it a missed... :(

Long procedures @ SNEC

This morning accompanied my grandma to SNEC for checkup bcos she felt her vision getting blurer... We left house at about 7am and had breakfast at Bedok central... By the time we reached SNEC was about 9am bcos we took bus instead of Mrt... The waiting time for eye checking was about 2hrs then followed by the consultation by the Ophthalmologist... Afterwhich we had to wait 45min after they dropped the antiseptic eye drops for my grandma... By the time we went in for 2nd round of consultation was already 12pm... Then still need to wait to make appt for the cataract surgery and all the paper + admission paper work... After that, my grandma was asked to do ECG, eye tests and urine test then consultation by another doctor again... By the time we made payment & collect the bottle of eye drop at the pharmacy was 1.45pm... The whole process for all the testings & consultations at SNEC was 5hrs!!!

I took half day leave and had to leave my auntie to bring my grandma home then I needed to rush back to office (luckily it's only 2 blks away from SNEC within the SGH campus)... Phew! So I tabao lunch to office to eat while working... What a busy morning...

Tired still, heavy mind

Very tired, especially these few days... No matter how early I sleep, the next day I wake up still feeling very tired & listless...

Too many things on mind: father's condition, grandma's health, mother's emotional, family's financial, my low cash flow, my wedding & flat... Date still not finalised yet... June or Sept?

Home's light bulb spoilt for 3 days, waiting for someone to change it for us... In the past, my father was always the one who replaced it, but now nobody knows how... No light at night time now, have to on the toilet's light to get some light... Women are really not good at electronics stuff... Sigh, chiam...

Father in bad mood

My father wasn't in good mood these 2 days and easily get frustrated when we talked to him... Kept saying that he wanted to go out to our house's corridor to burn stuff (not sure if he knew it's last day of lunar May) and kept saying that he lost his car's key and been strucked in the carpark... sigh...

So heart pain to see him like that... When we wanted to encourage him, he see it as lecturing from us... What else can we do to make him feel better?

Can't sleep well

Didn't get to sleep well these few days, don't know why... It's either I stayed up late or tossed on the bed for very long, both reasons are the same - cannot get to sleep...

Feel very sleepy when wake up in the morning, as usual need to wake up at 6.30am to prepare medicine for my father then get back to sleep again until 7.30am for work...

Didn't have much work to do in office these 2 days... All pending by Prof...

Viewed the 1st flat: Blk 147 #13

I approached Xiaohui to recommend to me her property agent who she had bought her 4-rm flat at Tampines... The agent, Jeff, brought me & dar to view the 1st flat today, and of course we were both looking forward to it... The unit was just next to dar's blk... However, when we reached the corridor of the unit, we were abit reluctant to go in... The interior of the flat was so run-down with wires and paint stains everywhere on the walls... Somemore, the owner of the flat rented out this unit to several China guys who made the place so dirty... Plus, the owner asked for $10k of COV (Cash-Over-Valuation) for such a run-down unit...!

No choice but to continue looking for another suitable unit... Just hope to find a unit which we don't need to do much renovation and is in a livable condition and we don't need to pay so much COV...

Now, next step is to confirm the wedding date so that we can go ahead to source for hotel for our wedding lunch...

What action?

I don't think I am having prejudice against colleague Y... But there's one thing I don't like about her... She will always comment on Ryan about his weird actions & said things behind his back until very bad, but she herself also do things very strange one loh...

Today we had our Admin meeting as usual at 1pm, so we planned to eat lunch before it started else the meeting will drag till at least 3pm... She came over to my desk & asked if want to go buy lunch, so I said ok... Then she had no action of getting ready to go out to buy... Few minutes later, she sent an email to me to tell me to better go ask Reona & manager if they want to go buy food and she was not going as she had bought sandwiches for lunch when she came in for work... Then I was very puzzled bcos I couldn't see the logic of her coming to ask me if want to go buy lunch then later on said she actually bought food liao... Weird people saying other people is weird when she herself is weird... haha...

Harry Potter 6

Gotten 2 free movie tickets from MOHH to watch the Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince at Suntec Eng Wah... Dar went with me after work to watch it but bcos we went for dinner 1st therefore were late for the movie for about 15min, so we missed the beginning of the show... This is the season 6 of Harry Potter series...

So in all, I only watched season:

One - Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001) - Vcd on 04/08/2007
Two - Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) - Vcd on 12/08/2007
Five - Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix (2007) - cinema on 27/07/2007
Six - Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince (2008) - cinema on 16/07/2009

Unfortunately, I didn't managed to watch season:

Three - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Four - Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)

So didn't really know what the whole series was about, and the last season that I watched was 2 years ago, so also can't really remember some details of the storyline... haha... Eventually end of the movie, I still don't know what the show was about, really...

However, there will be the last season 7 of Harry Potter coming up:
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 in Nov 2010
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 in May 2011

Wedding topics

Not much work to do these few days, all pending with Prof...

These few days, our lunch topics were surrounded with weddings... Reona recommended a fengshui master to help us check the wedding date bcos her ROM date was also picked by the master... However, the master said that in 2010, most of the good days are all fall on weekdays, so Reona had to push her customary date from Oct to Dec... Not sure if ours will also be like that... She had different package for picking the date... One of the cheaper package was to only pick a good date but will not check if the date is good for couple & their families...

Still haven found a flat yet... Our HLE application was approved today, so we should really start looking else might not be in time... Seems like alot of things to do & research hor...

1st is to get an auspicious date, then start searching & getting quotations from hotels for the lunch wedding at the same time find a flat fast, then the rest of the arrangements should fall in after that...

Cannot tahan her

It's that colleague Y again... Somehow she seemed to be extra stressed? Sometimes she will even whisper to herself after putting down the phone calls or after reading some emails... Anyway, she has a Monday blue... Last Monday was like that, today also like that... But today's situation was worse... She slammed the phone real hard when putting down a few times, I think even the whole office can hear but nobody bother to ask her...

I secretly emailed to Reona & asked if she knew what happened to colleague Y, but she also didn't know... Reona even emailed to colleague Y to ask her if she was feeling ok, she said ok... More weird was, there were some calls where she can chat & laughed with the speakers... So we really don't know what's wrong with her...

Sitting next to people like that, I think I will be emotionally affected sooner or later... haha... Trying hard to psyco myself not to be bothered with her...

My promise to you

From today on, I promise that I will control my temper and emotions, and not to get angry with you for small little things to worsen our relationship... But you have to promise me also to be good to me and not to keep anything from me from now on, ok...

Silent means consent hor... haha...

Let's work harder for our future!

Transformers 2: Revenge Of The Fallen

I watched the 1st season of Transformers with dar in 2007 I think... As I had never watch the Transformers cartoon at all before, so I didn't even know what the story was about... This time round, I also still can't get some parts of the movie... haha... So many robots with almost the same colours and models, I was confused and had to keep asking dar which robots were good and which were bad... The only facts that I knew were, the good robots were called Autobots and the bad ones were called Decepticons... The leader among the Autobots was Optimus Prime and the Decepticons was Megatron... Correct hor?

Yah, how come all the Autobots are either cars or truck while Decepticons are crane, millitary tank or plane? Then all the good robots cannot fly but bad ones can... Why huh? Haha...

Next movie will be the Harry Potter And The Half-blood Prince on coming Thursday... haha...

Meet the parents

There was a minor hipup bcos my father was having bad flu and also partly bcos he was very tired after a session of acupunture, I saw him so xin ku thus asked my small sis to come down & bring him home early to rest while we all continued the conversation at the J's Wok... However, part of the session was abit awkward when there was silent for awhile... Both side parents didn't discussed in deep details, but leaving to both of us to decide how we want to hold our wedding...

Talking about flat, guess we have to wait till 22 Aug to see if we can get an unit at Punggol 1st before we can go ahead to get a resale? But does that means that we have to wait for 4 years for it to build? Punggol still seems abit too far for both of us to go back to parents' homes huh?

Just now my father was much better so I updated him on what were discussed this afternoon and at the same time had a discussion with my parents & grandma about the wedding requirements & procedures... We came up with a list of 4 items...

As for the date that we had in mind, guess we have to get someone to check for us if it is an auspicious day before we can proceed to arrange for the rest of the wedding preparations & to work out our budgets...

One thing that I had to mention was, I was very touched & happy to see that my whole family was very looking forward to this happiness day, especially my 2 sisters... Previously bcos of my father's condition, we were all so depressed and gloomy and having disagreements, so hope with this good news will brighten up everybody's mood as well as to motivate my father to recover faster...

Expectations? Sense of security?

Wasn't in a good mood these 2 days and didn't wish to talk much... Didn't had dinner just now, only ate biscuits...

Although at work was very sian with same colleague playing politics everyday, but no matter what, I still feel much happier when reached home and able to talk to my father... Nothing is more important than this, at least to me now... I wouldn't want to have much expectations in people and things now, nothing is moving on smoothly anyway...

Was having conversation with Reona yesterday when we were strucked in the train due to track fault... I didn't elaborate much but she can understand how I feel & what I am trying to say... She shared with me her last relationship before meeting JJ as her husband now...
She was with that ex-guy for 2 yrs and that guy always didn't inform her of where he was going... Although I know Reona is not that kind of girl who wants to control her bf in everything, but what she said was right and I did agreed...
She said if in a relationship where both parties did not even bothered to tell each other what they are doing and where they are going, then it seemed too pointless... Eventually she broke up with that ex-guy bcos that guy lied to her... That guy didn't tell her truly where he went and when Reona called him, he was actually in Malaysia... That went the relationship...
But lucky she met JJ and after a year, they ROM-ed... At least from what she said, JJ will always tell her who he was meeting and will even bring her along to all his friends', coursemates' or colleagues' gatherings... Of course Reona also brought JJ along to her friends' outings... Even when JJ was too busy with work or studies over weekends where they couldn't meet up, Reona said JJ will always make up to her by bringing her out to special places and dinings... This is how they respect each other & maintain their relationship...

I also do expect my bf to at least inform me of where he is going and with who, not only when I asked him, but with him telling me bcos he respect me as his gf... He has to do it willingly and not by demand... Even as a grow up daughter, I still do inform my parents of where I am going and with whom, at least they will not feel worried... I can understand this but this is not something that everybody can fulfilled... Perhaps only girls will understand this situation where guys will always feel it's not necessary bcos they don't like being controlled... Again, I have to emphaise that this is not controlling, it's mutual respect and basic understanding...

Another story of Reona's friend, let's call her K as her initial... K was married at 25 with a very faithful and caring husband, however due to the wildfulness of K, she always hang out late with different guys although she was married... K's husband knew about it and was very upset but he didn't confront her and let her be bcos as long as she was happy, he will be happy too... Somehow, K went on too much and even had sex with those guys and in the end, K's husband found out and also did the same to her with other women... What went wrong here? Is it lacking of communication or trust?

Perhaps watching too much drama shows & hearing from other people's stories, I started to feel worried & scared when plans are getting nearer... Will the plans even be carried out in the 1st place with obstacles here & there? Seemed no faith huh? Maybe I am not sure myself... I admit that I am a person who is lack of a sense of security and assurance... Just afraid of things not going the way I expected... How and where can I find the assurance and the kind of security I want? I'm too tired to think...

Mix feeling?

如果你从没出现
我会不会觉得快乐一些
可惜残忍时间
总要把诺言一点点摧毁

你说我爱你太多就快要把你淹没
分不清激情承诺永恒或迷惑
爱情是一道伤口我们各自苦痛
我想要的那片天空你是不是能够给我

我坐在公路的出口
等待天黑以后无边的寂寞
紧抱一个醉生梦死的枕头
留不住回忆却学不会放手怎么走

一句抱歉都僵在嘴边
我搞不懂我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后是否住着伤口
我想不通我们的爱怎么了

我坚持的都值得坚持吗
我所相信的就是真的吗
如果我敢追求我就敢拥有吗
而如果都算了不要呢

Better still

Early morning when I stepped into the office, there were 2 phone lines ringing, so I picked up line 1 while colleague Y picked up line 2... On the other end of line 1 was Prof and normally before the Admin meeting, Prof will call to get some stuff or document for the meeting... This time, Prof wanted the M5 resource person list but Reona was on MC... So I went to ask manager if she knew who else will have the list, she pointed to colleague Y so of course I went over to colleague Y's cubicle to ask her... She gave me the buay song face and just shaked her head then said she will find in Reona's sharing drive... Then she looked at the phone to see if it was still blinking (blinking means the call was on hold) and asked if Prof wanted it now... I said not now but he wanted us to get ready for the meeting later then i just walked away...

Since she shaked her head meant she also don't have, so out of goodwill I tried to find for her... I searched high & low in YT's folders and finally found it, so I forwarded a copy to both Reona & colleague Y... Guess what colleague replied? She stated in her email that she also couldn't find the hardcopy at Reona's desk but saw some names in an excel sheet so she will just copy & paste the details into a Word document and print out for meeting... To me, if she rather copy & paste the info into another Word document rather than to use the copy with all the info there already (the copy which I had sent to them), it's her business and she was just wasting her time, not mine...

By right to mass create trainees' accounts in IVLE was my job, however she went to do it herself but didn't even inform me and previously I had put that down as 1 of the agenda for today's meeting... Luckily I went into IVLE to see, else I would have throw face during the meeting if she said she had done it already... Better still, saved my energy for other work...

But from here can also show that she was the one who create all these unhappiness and politics among 2 of us... I guess now with all these happened, we are not able to work happily like before... This is what people said as 心病...
Anyway, I also don't care and had already get used to people like her around after working in society for 8 years... I purposely replied 1 of her emails to her & Reona saying that Reona is the most patience person among us and will not angry with people, which I admired Reona's character... Then colleague Y replied very sarcastically and said "Ya, only Reona can tahan… hahaha very good, need more people like you"... Bcos she herself knew that she get angry very easily... There's 1 occasion when we were all chatting during lunch, then I quoted them some examples that people who get angry easily will tend to suffer from stroke... Then Reona straightaway patted colleague Y's shoulder hinting to her to take note...

Sometimes, the more a person wants to make you angry, the more you should not get angry, else you will be falling into her trap and make yourself more miserable but she will be happy...

Different perspectives

Men & women always have different thinkings but why do they still choose to be together since there are differences in their living lifestyles, values, characters and upbringings... Is it bcos of the habits or the needs for each other?

What if you truly understand the character of your other half but you still do things to make them unhappy? Is it bcos you know them too well that's why tend to take things for granted or is it bcos the way you do things are different from what they expect from you? If the words 'forget' and 'sorry' is always what you used to make yourself look as if it's unintentionally, then it's seems too disappointing...

Is it bcos they can't take things easy or is it bcos of the stubborn-ness? Well, it depends on what you really expect from your other half... For example, if you want your other half to let you know where he/ she is going everytime and with who, but to him/ her, he/ she might feel it is unnecessary but to you, it is necessary bcos if you doesn't know what your other half is doing, then what is the point of being in a relationship... This is what is meant by different values, and this action is not to control over a person but to know that he/ she respect you by telling you every details...

Trust plays a major & important part in all relationships, remember!
When trust is gone, there will be no sense of security and everything will just stop here with no improvement in the relationships...

Tui na

I went to tui na (推拿) with my mother & 2nd sis's accompany at Bedok Reservoir just now... Dar supposed to come & accompany me, but he was late so ended up I asked not to come since it's my turn liao, abit disappointed...

During the tui na, it was very pain and as if my bones were breaking... There were sound of bones craking and smell of the ointment rubbed on my waist... The tui na took about 10min and I was been bandaged at the waist with the ointment... The chinese physician said the bandage can only be removed tmr morning or night and I cannot bath tonight... sian hor... Somemore need to eat chinese medicine which I hate most bcos I simply not able to swallow the whole pills... The pills were black and round which looked like those bao ji yuan (pills which you eat for diarrhoea) but in bigger size...

Now when I tried to sit or stand straight, my waist will ache... sian... going sleep liao... Can't even sit for long now...

Terrible incident at CGH

My father was doing physiotherapy at the neuro gymnasium at CGH when this incident just happened so sudden... The physiotherapist (PT in short) accidentally poked my father's right eye with her finger while trying to demo some exercises to us... My father was in deep great pain and his right eye was so red like bleeding... I was so angry and demanded the PT for an explaination & solution to attend to my father's eye... She suggested to bring my father down to A&E, so we did that and I wanted her to go together but she needed to attend to patients... I quickly pushed my father down to level 1 A&E, luckily the waiting time is very short (approx. 5min) and the doctor assured me that it was not serious and said it's the eye blood vessel bursted that's why so red, he assured that the eye will take about 1 week to recover...

After this incident, my father was so upset and moody for the rest of the day... We were so heartpain to see this and my 2nd sis wanted to lodge a complaint against the PT for her carelessness...

Gastric & waist pain

This morning woke up having bad gastric pain & waist pain... Gastric pain since last night before I went to bed... Waist pain since 1 mth ago after falling down from the wooden table... Sian... Having problem bending down and sleeping...

Bad attitude

Monday blue? Not me, it's somebody else in office who threw temper early in the morning and I felt she was very rude... When people passed her calls to her, she didn't even respond or say thank you to that person at all... Also talking to people in a very buay song tone, purposely typed her keybpard so loud, banged her files on table and slamed phone few times after talking... As I was just sitting next to her cubicle, so when she banged her file on table, of course I will feel the table shaked...

In fact, I was already immused to all these nonsense long ago and I can't be bothered... Everybody in office also know that she was a very bad temper person & easily get angry over small things...

Some times we can talk about work or even some personal opinions, then she will just suddenly change her tone and pick on people... Yes, she is colleague Y who I am mentioning again...

Waist still pain

This morning woke up with very bad pain on my waist... After doing the ba guan on last Monday, my waist was still as pain as before going to see the TCM physician for treatment... But the fact is that, I didn't consume the chinese medicine (tablets & syrup) regularly as instructed by the physician... Is that the reason why my waist still did not recover at all, or is it the injury was quite serious?

My mother kept asking me to go see the TCM physician who she used to see for her injured arm bcos she felt that it's better to do an injury massage (推拿) rather than ba guan for waist injury, but I don't feel comfortable to see her physician bcos the physician is a male... However, if my waist is still pain by next week, perhaps I would give it a try otherwise it will never recover and I will have problem bending down like now...

Slacking weekends

Had been slacking for 2 days... Yesterday didn't do anything much except for taking afternoon nap from 6pm to 9.30pm, then woke up to have dinner then watch Tv till 11.30pm... Then sleep from 11.30pm to this morning 11am...

Today again didn't do much things... Initially intended to take out all the items in my big box to take photos then post them online to sell, but lazy... So ended up I watched Tv the whole afternoon and also to talk to my father...

Dar was on reservist since Thur, so I was abit lonely without him around... This feeling was like when he 1st went to NS at Tekong for 2weeks...

Tmr going back to work again... sianz... Now with the office atmosphere like that, making me feel sian to think of going work...

No motivation to do anything...

Love myself more

Everytime after meeting up with old friends made me ponder of what they said...

One of them said, life is short and eventually we will die one day, why not treat ourselves better, take things easy and do the things that we want to do... Why want to leave regrets in our lives... This is what I agree too...

Another said, we should love ourselves more & treat ourselves better especially as women... They are willing to pay the price of making new hairstyles, buying expenseive branded goods, signing packages for beauty treatments, etc... All these are what women normally go for, but all these are just too expensive for me with my current situation... Who doesn't want to look better with all the facial & eye treatments, and whatever treatments to make oneself looks more beautiful... But all come with a high price, I told myself that I can't afford to commit myself with any more installment plans... Otherwise, my financial & burden will be heavier...

I guess what I can do to love myself more is to sleep & rest more whenever I can... I noticed that if I do not have enough sleep, my temper will be bad and thus every little things will make me feel frustrated easily... Just like just now when I brought my grandma for lunch at coffeeshop downstair, she insisted to wait for my auntie to eat together but I told her she can go ahead to eat 1st as she still need to bath later on and by the time she finish bathing would be 4+... I don't mean to angry with her, it's just my lack of sleep that made me frustrated... She also keep wanting to pay me back the money that I paid for her medicine on Wed, I insisted not to take bcos she is not working for ages and had been using her own savings to pay for everything at her home... My uncle also not working recently, so didn't give her much pocket money... Although I am financially poor, but at least I still have my pay check every month...

Late night with good friends

I reached home at about 3am last night... I believed most of the working adults will tend to hang out late on Friday nights to enjoy themselves and at the same time meeting old friends/ colleagues for chats... Some of the popular places are pubs, discos, coffeehouse, ktv, etc... Although my group of friends like to hang out at pubs to drink & dance, but it is just not my cup of tea... Many times I will reject going with them if I know in advance that they will be going to such places... So most of the time they will choose cafes or coffeehouse for hang out places bcos of me and most importantly, they knew I don't drink alcoholic...

Last night's gathering was to celebrate Yan & Meera's bday which was in June... Normally our practice is to meet up as a group and have dinner together then find a quiet place to sit down and chat... However, there were also few occasions where we will go Ktv, just like last night we went to Kbox at Orchard Cinelesure... Before that, 6 of us had our dinner at the new shopping centre (Orchard Central)... We ate at the Japanese cum Korean restaurant called Ootoya... Heard before? The food wasn't really fantastic but the queue was quite long and we waited for 30min before there was table available... We spilted the cost of the dinner among 4 of us so that the 2 bday girls don't need to pay as usual... So in total, I paid $54 for both the dinner and the Ktv session...

Very tired now... Only slept for 3hrs+ and woke up at 6.45am to prepare med for my father, of course after that I went back to sleep again till 8.30am to bring my grandma for breakfast...

Waiting for my hair to dry now then I will go for a short afternoon nap...

Office atmosphere

Can sensed that the office atmosphere had changed to more tensed and quiet nowadays... Other than Miaoru & Reona, the rest of us were just busy doing our own work in our own cubicles quietly... The 2 of them will just walked to each other's desks and talked or joked... Sorry to say, sometimes I also abit cannot stand their noise bcos my cubicle is just right in the middle of both their cubicles...

Anyway, I was very gloomy and listless this whole week... I am really lack of sleep, sometimes can't even sleep at nights... Plus I have alot of worries and unsettled matters in my mind... Sometimes also made me lost my focus in work, that was why I choose not to talk much and just want to finish my work...

This morning Reona told me that the server had a beep beep sound yesterday when I was on dayoff... She commented that colleague Y told her it was the server which had the beep beep sound, so I went over to take a look... Then I noticed that it was the UPS battery which made the beep beep sound to indicate that it needed to be replaced... So when I wanted to tell Reona about it and shown her the indication of the sound, colleague Y also came over to kpo... I pointed to them and told them that it was the UPS battery, and not the server... Again, somebody wanted to act smart and act as if she know alot of things by telling Reona that it was the server which made the sound...

I arranged for a demo session with Asknlearn to come down College to show the upgraded version of IVLE, the session took about 30min and it was during the Admin meeting where Prof, Dr Wong TH, manager, Reona, colleague Y and myself were present... During the demo session, I raised some concerns about the migration to new version and the AsknLearn rep was able to answer... Prof & Dr Wong was quite impressed with my knowledge in IVLE and for raising those concerns... However, colleague Y was unhappy as it can be seen from her face... I also don't care... When the same person repeatingly did things to piss me off, I will just ignore her and let her know that she is the one who needs to depend on me for her work and not vice verses...

5 errands

Today I took dayoff to run few errands...

I woke up at 7.25am and went over to my grandma's house waiting to accompany her to go SGH for her ortho appt... But my auntie was late and we waited for her till 8.30am... We reached int and ate our breakfast... By the time we finished eating, it was about 9am... We waited for bus 33 and finally reached SGH at 10.40am... Luckily SGH didn't require visitors/ patients to register & scan IC like CGH... My auntie also had doc appt there, so she went for her appt alone while I accompanied my grandma... The queue was quite long and by the time the consultation ended, it was 1pm and we still needed to wait for medicine at the pharmany...

We reached int at 2.45pm and my grandma & auntie wanted to have lunch there, but I needed to rush home to bring my father downstair for accupunture...

After the accupunture session, I rushed to Paragon for my dental appt within 30min taking the Mrt... The clinic actually closes at 5pm daily and when I reached there, it was about 5.10pm... Luckily my dentist was still around, else I would have made a waste trip...

Still early for massage appt, I slowly took a bus to Bugis to pray 1st... The temple was closing at 6pm, luckily I reached there 10min before it closed...

Finally, my last destination at Parkway... I met my mother for massages, however we were boht later for 30min bcos of traffic jam... When we reached the beauty salon, the beautician said she can only massage for one of us bcos we were late and they expected other customers at that time... So I let my mother go for the massage and I waited outside at the waiting area... However, there was a last min cancallation from one of the customer, so I was able to do the massage... As this was the 1st time that I did a full body massage, I had a comment for myself... I will never get used to wear nothing for massage, it was just so uneasy to feel so bare although the beautician was a female... And the cream which was rubbed on my body was so oily, I don't like... Think I will not do a full body massage in future liao... Somemore the beauticians kept psycho-ing me to sign up a new package with them which enables me to do shoulder massage, full body massage, facial treatment, eye treatment, slimming, skin whitening, etc... I was very very tempted bcos of the cheaper price as compared with other beauty salons, ended up I still did not bcos I know I need to save up $...